Dear Babysitters

In case you haven't been taught this principle in school yet, our economy thrives on a system of supply and demand.

In the role of Babysitter, you function as supply.

It's a simple principle that works like this: if demand is high for your particular service - in this case, temporary supervision and entertainment of other people's children - then supply has the upper hand.

That's you. You have the upper hand. Particular to your role, this means you could potentially name and receive your desired hourly rate.

As I play the role of demand in this example, the burden is upon me to reach out to you and make my demand known.

I won't so much demand anything as politely call you and state my request for your services on a particular day and time.

I typically mention the ages and gender of my children so that you can easily understand there is no truly despicable work associated with my request - no diaper changing, no real possibility of spit up messing up your clothes (though I wouldn't recommend loading them up with pizza and soda right before bed).

In the course of this request, it is my standard practice to leave information as to how you may contact me. You may presume two things from this practice: first, I have a phone. You can probably use it to contact the outside world while you're here, provided you fulfill supervision and entertainment duties as agreed upon.

Second, I'd really like you to call me back.

This is where it all falls apart. You never call me back.

I'm puzzled, because I have been told that you are someone who supplies this service. Someone who knows you has provided me with your name and number. Do you realize this?

So I have to ask: are you so inundated with demands for your services that you can't possibly respond to everyone?

Is my desperation to get out of this godforsaken house for just a little while that glaring in my message? And if so, are you holding out until I reach the brink so you can get more money?

Lemme tell ya, you can seriously name your price. Right now.

You are forfeiting some very easy cash.

Please know, this is a babysitter epidemic. I do not single out any particular unresponsive so-called caregiver. You all seem to be pretty reluctant to give up a Saturday night.

I promise I'll come back. At a reasonable hour even. With cash for you.

Have I mentioned cash?

I await your call.