So I think I have figured out something really cool. Well, really cool for me - for you, maybe not such a big deal. Anyway, I seem to have hit upon the sweet spot of all the possible menial job assignments at these never ending gymnastics meets. And they call it scoring.
Now, don't be silly and confuse scoring with judging. Scoring is simply arming oneself with a palm pilot that speaketh to the scoreboard, sitting at one of the judge's tables, and punching in the scores determined by said judge. Very little brain power required. Plus, sometimes there's candy. This job has erroneously come to be regarded as one of skill, and the idea of operating a handheld computer for some reason scares some parents away. This is good, because they are needed to fill other jobs that I don't want to do. Like selling hot dogs and raffle tickets. For instance, Jane Fonda does excellent work at the food table, while also providing the necessary deterrent for me (with merely her presence) to not buy brownies I don't need. Everyone's happy.
This weekend I - um, scored - a scoring assignment at both the Saturday and Sunday meets. One of the pluses about this job is you are right out there on the floor, so you can generally see your own kid's entire rotation without the annoying distraction of other parents jumping up in front of you with their stupid camcorders. I mean, really, is it necessary to record every moment of every single meet? Are you making the kid study the game film? Have you saved nothing for college? Anyway, another rather obvious plus is you get a pretty good idea of how this thing is going down, at least on your assigned event, because the whole roster of eighty-plus girls is right there in front of you and you know how every single one did.
About that roster: What was going on circa 2000 that caused so many women to name their daughters Emily? I have never seen so many girls named Emily in one place in my life. And if not Emily, then Hannah. If not Hannah, then Madison. That's about it. Eighty girls, three names. Madison suffers the most variation of spelling. This may have seemed charming and unique at the girl's birth, but it's going to cause her no end of practical aggravation throughout the rest of her life. What are women thinking to spell their daughter's names phonetically? I just don't understand it. We're smarter than this.
I'm happy to report that, in the midst of this plethora of Emilys, both of my girls came away from their respective sessions feeling successful. It's frequently one or the other that does well; thankfully this time we got a twofer.
Best of all, only one more home meet to go! One more crock pot contribution, one more dreadful cleanup, and one more round of Emilys, Hannahs, and Madisons.
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4 comments:
Emily. Isn't that a Bowling for Soup song? I think so.
Now, once all these Emily's, Hannah's, and Madison's hit high school, they will become the new Heathers and date all the Dylan's and Cameron's out there.
I've always loved the name Hannah partly because it used to be uncommon, and if I had had a daughter I would have wanted to name her that, but not if every third parent in the world was also using it. Madison is okay, but you know it gets shortened to "Maddie," which is a weird combination of cutesy and aggressive.
We picked both boy names because we didn't know anybody named Jacob or Zachary--now there are three Jacobs and 5 Zacharys in their grades. With my daughter, we wanted to name her Katherine but my family already had too many in my familiy--so we made up her name and called her Kaileigh--now there are a ton of Kaileigh's--a million different spellings but it's still Kaileigh--all three are better than plain old Chris though...
It's sad, because I always liked the name Madison since Splash. Now, they are everywhere!
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