An Open Letter

Dear Seventh Grader,

You know that saying, "You're driving me crazy"? Seriously, I really think that you are. Driving me crazy. Look no further than this godforsaken twitch in my right eye. Did you see it just then? No? In fairness to you, I don't see how you could have noticed it, since I don't think you have actually looked me in the eye since your last birthday. But eye contact might be overrated. Conversation is really the key to a mutually loving relationship...of course, those are pretty hard to come by with you as well these days. No wait! I think we had one last weekend. It was fleeting, and of course I initiated it. It's a pretty amazing talent you have there, the whole talking without actually opening your mouth thing. Can't say that I comprehend many of the words coming out. But who needs to understand what you're saying when I can get the gist of it from your facial expressions?

One thing you could do for me? Just a little thing. Won't take up much of your valuable texting time. When I am pulling up in front of your school in the morning to drop you off, I'd REALLY appreciate it if you would not leap out of the vehicle while it's still moving. I know this maneuver spares you the agony of having to actually say goodbye to me. But as the driver, it is highly unnerving to have your passenger exit in this fashion. I promise not to hug you or smile in your direction or anything embarrassing like that. In fact, I've been practicing that whole mumble mouth thing? And I think I can manage "Have a great day" without moving my lips now! Let's just give it a try tomorrow. I won't visibly acknowledge your presence, you wait until the car comes to a complete stop before getting out of it. Deal?

I know you are going to find this hard to believe, what with all the expressions of frustration that are flying around both of our heads recently. But I happen to love you. Don't roll your eyes at me when I tell you I love you! If you rolled your eyes at me just a fraction less, I might even like you. Now that would be something, wouldn't it? I seem to recall that you can be pretty darn likeable. Clearly, your friends find you likeable. All four million of them. Then again, I bet you don't roll your eyes at them. That's a classic move, by the way, the eye rolling. I bet you think you invented it. Nuh uh. Girls have been pissing their mothers off with that one since the beginning of time. It's damn effective.

Also, I bet if you could keep your eyes still in your head for a minute, and maybe even temporarily focus them in my direction, you might notice something truly riveting. A mind-blowing something that you could tell all your friends. They may not believe you, but seeing is believing, right? Know what you'll see? That your mother is...get this...a PERSON! A real person! Multi-faceted! With hopes and goals and dreams of her own! And feelings! And a whole lot of stuff on her plate! Who likes to be liked! And doesn't like to be dismissed! I know, it's out there. But it's true.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, though. I don't want to send you off the rails with the rest of it. I'll just give you a hint. If you were to look in my direction - you know, just long enough to absorb the reality of my being a person - and if you were to keep looking, just a teensy extra minute longer, you might pick up the faintest glowing edges of something else. Only a reflection, actually. A bit of light coming off some unknown source. That source? It's the sun. Like I said, this might be more than you want to know right now. But keep that sun in mind, okay? Because someday, on some test, you may be asked what the world revolves around. And it might seem natural to answer that question a certain way, but trust me. That answer is incorrect.

Hv a grt dy! Lv U!