Thursday, March 13, 2008

Uh-Oh

Setting - A mother and daughter enjoy a pleasant lunch at a mall restaurant. They have discussed school, Hannah Montana, and the strange hunk of dough she has been given by the hostess as "entertainment" while waiting for their food.

Lunch is served.

Daughter: Mom? Do you get up on Easter morning and hide the eggs and fill our baskets?

Mom: Wh..what, sweetie?

Daughter: People say that the Moms and Dads do that.

Mom (smiling and remaining calm): People say that? What people say that?

Daughter (also calm, through a mouthful of noodles): People also say that Moms and Dads take our old teeth out from under the pillow and put money there from their wallets. Do you take our teeth and give us money?

Mom (trying to hide panic beneath the veneer of a smile): Who are these people saying these things?

Daughter: Just people. They also say that Moms and Dads get up early on Christmas and just write Santa on some of the tags.

Mom (nearly chokes on the weight of this MASSIVE understatement...just writes the name on some tags, come on): Well...what do you think?

Daughter pauses, takes a bite of her noodles. Slurps the cheese sauce off her fork. Stabs another biteful of noodles: Mom, can we go to the Disney store after lunch?

Fade to black.

2 comments:

sarah said...

ohdeargod, I need a Xanax just thinking about that conversation.

::runs off to find paper bag to breathe into::

Virginia said...

I was kind of relieved when the last child realized that Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Birthday Fairy, etc was actually us. I'm shallow enough to want all the credit :-)